


the light i won't let go

by zennie



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 21:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9922373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zennie/pseuds/zennie
Summary: Maggie confesses she lied about coming out to her parents and leaves. Alex has to decide what to do with the information. Missing scene from episode 2x13





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks Boxer for the beta and Coop for the read through.

The chill in her chest couldn’t be warmed by the arms she wrapped around herself nor by the fire in the fireplace. The pain in Maggie’s voice and eyes haunted her, and Alex knew Maggie wanted space and time.  
  
But Alex wasn’t used to sitting around while someone she cared for was hurting, so, after taking a minute to blow out the candles and put the cake away, she hurriedly changed into jeans and a t-shirt, and headed out into the night. She had already screwed up once tonight; she might as well go for broke.  
  
\---  
  
Maggie wasn’t sure if she was disappointed Alex hadn’t followed her or if she was grateful Alex had let her wander off alone to lick her wounds. But boy, she really wished she had grabbed that nice bottle of Scotch on her way out. Instead, she was in the alien bar with shots of substandard whiskey lined up in front of her. After each one, she expected to hear Alex’s voice behind her, and each time she didn’t, the pain in her chest ached a little more.  
  
So it was almost a relief that, when Maggie finally staggered up to her apartment, Alex was standing there, arms folded, head down, face in shadow, waiting for her by the door. Some stubborn part of her, some part of her that wasn’t used to being pursued, to being cared for, to being listened to, made her try once again to to push Alex away.  
  
“Now is not a good time, Danvers.”  
  
Alex just nodded, pushing herself off the wall and grimacing as she straightened. But she didn’t go; she just waited by the door as Maggie came closer.  
  
“I don’t want to talk.” And Maggie didn’t, because if they did, after the confession and the fight and the shots, Maggie was afraid she would say something to drive Alex away for good, if she hadn’t already.  
  
“We don’t have to talk,” Alex replied, her voice quiet as Maggie struggled to get her keys in the door, her vision clouded by the tears she was trying to hold back. “If you just give me two minutes of your time, I’ll get out of your hair.”  
  
Maggie sighed as the lock finally turned, and she just walked into her apartment, leaving the door open for Alex to follow if she wanted. A second later, she heard the door shut and lock, and she turned, bracing herself for whatever Alex had to say. Instead, two strong arms wrapped her in a tight hug, as if Alex was trying to hold her and protect her from every hurt, even those in her distant past.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Alex whispered near Maggie’s ear as she pressed a kiss against her temple.  
  
With that, the dam broke, the memories that had been haunting her all day coming to the surface in a rush. Maggie muffled her sob in Alex’s shoulder as she broke, her hands fisting in Alex’s shirt. The strength in Alex’s lean body held her up, and the familiar scent of Alex’s shower gel and laundry detergent enveloped her. Maggie had always used her care and concern for  her partners as a defense mechanism; if they were the focal point in the relationship, she didn’t have to disclose about herself. If she was always the listener, then she wasn’t the one speaking. Being the supportive girlfriend meant she never had to seek support.  
  
Crying in Alex’s arms, clinging to Alex’s strength… it was both comforting and terrifying. She always made it a point to know her girlfriends while remaining unknown herself. They had called her cold and closed-off and insensitive, but those insults had bounced off because the judgements hadn’t been about her, not really, just the facade she had presented. But Alex had wormed her way through the barriers, despite her awkward fumbling in the newness of their relationship. Alex lasted, where none of the others did. She might just last forever.  
  
The storm passed, quickly, Maggie thought, but her hands ached from clenching Alex’s shirt and the fabric beneath her cheek was wet with tears. Maggie’s breathing relaxed, as did her body, sinking even further into Alex’s, knowing Alex wouldn’t let her fall. Alex was tracing soothing circles on her back and breathing softly against her neck, and Maggie had no words to express how she was feeling, so she made a joke. “So this was your big plan? Hug me for your two minutes?”  
  
Alex chuckled softly but did not let go. “Yeah. Is it working?”  
  
“Maybe just a little,” Maggie admitted. “Although I think your two minutes are up.”  
  
“Do you want me to leave?” Alex asked, seriously, clearly willing to give Maggie space if she needed it, but Maggie also felt Alex’s embrace tighten around her, reluctant to let go.  
  
Maggie shook her head where it was nestled against Alex’s shoulder, the steady beat of Alex’s heart thudding quietly under her ear. “No.” She wondered what Alex would say if Maggie told her she never wanted her to let go.  
  
After a few moments, Alex finally leaned back to gaze into Maggie’s eyes, brushing her hair back from her face softly. “I really am sorry. For not hearing you. For…” Alex swallowed, her own eyes dark with unshed tears, “what your family did to you. And for making you feel like you couldn’t tell me.”  
  
Some of the guilt about lying to Alex, even though her intent had been pure, welled up in Maggie’s chest, but Alex’s finger on her lips stopped Maggie from speaking. “I want to know you, Maggie, everything about you. We don’t have to talk now, but sometime, when you’re ready, I want to hear about your family. About your aunt. About how that felt, about how it still feels. You.... you don’t have to hide things from me. _You_ don’t have to hide from me.”  
  
“I don't want you to feel sorry for me. Poor Maggie and her tragic backstory.”  
  
“You really think that's how I feel?” Maggie didn’t nod her head, but some weak and insecure part of her thought she was pitiful for even bringing her past up, for seeking comfort for old wounds.  
  
“What I feel is admiration for your incredible strength and courage. Jesus, Maggie, you were 14.” Alex's fingers framed her face and her gaze burned into Maggie's. “The people in your life who were supposed to love you and keep you safe and protect you, no matter what, hurt you in ways I can't even imagine and yet you are the kindest, gentlest, most loving soul I've ever met. I know a little bit about parental disappointment and shouldering responsibility at a young age, and I sure as hell didn't handle it with the grace you did.”  
  
“Oh, there was nothing graceful about it, trust me.”  
  
“I want to know how that kid grew into this amazing woman that I…” Alex cut her words off abruptly, but Maggie couldn't stop her heart from swelling as she filled them in. Alex searched Maggie's eyes before giving a self-conscious shrug of her shoulder and finishing her thought. “This amazing woman that I love.”  
  
The sudden vulnerability on Alex’s face was heartbreaking, but when Maggie opened her mouth to speak, Alex stopped her with a deep kiss. Maggie kissed her back passionately, trying to pour all the emotions she hadn't yet given voice to into the act. “No, not right now,” Alex told her as their lips parted. “Not when you have been drinking and not when you are raw from an emotional day. It can wait.”  
  
Maggie pulled her in for another, deeper kiss, her hands roaming Alex’s body with abandon. Her breath was coming in gasps when it ended, and Alex's eyes were dilated and black with desire. “Don't suppose you brought that lingerie with you, Danvers,” Maggie muttered against her neck as she nibbled her way down.  
  
Alex’s laugh was breathless, but her hands caught Maggie's, stilling them as they explored her body. “Not tonight.”  
  
Resting her head against Alex's shoulder, Maggie spent a few moments trying to get her raging hormones under control. “Alcohol and emotions?”  
  
“Yeah. But…” That vulnerability crept back into Alex's voice, like she was unsure and afraid of rejection. “I’d like to stay, if, if…”  
  
“I'd like that.” God, she loved this woman, and Maggie wanted nothing more than to wake up in her arms in the morning and tell her that. “Alex? I’m not really good at, um, opening up or talking about myself.” Even the admission felt scary, like she was walking along the edge of a towering precipice with uncertain footing.  
  
Alex nodded in understanding as she pressed a kiss to Maggie’s forehead and shifted her embrace to guide Maggie toward the bedroom. “We’ll work on it. Together.”


End file.
